The doctor didn’t understand why he was involved in this. Billing is handled by his billing person, Miss Whatsername, the redhead. That’s why he paid her. Why is this headache on his shoulders?

“Well, Doctor, the patient doesn’t think we sent him the right bill”, the redhead told him.

“Okay, I’ll speak to the patient myself. Hello? What’s the problem with the billing and bear in mind I have other patients waiting to see me.”

“You sent me a bill for surgery and-”, the person on the phone began.

“Did I do surgery?”

“Yes, but-”

“Then what’s the problem. I know I don’t do charity cases or I’d be one myself”.

“Doctor, you billed me for removing my ovaries!”

“Yea, so?”

“I’m a guy!! I don’t have ovaries!!”

“Well, not if I removed them, obviously”.

“I said I’m a guy! I didn’t have ovaries to begin with.”

“Now, I admit you have a deep voice but some women do. I wouldn’t remove ovaries from a guy. Think about that. How could I?”

“You didn’t. You-”

“There you go. I didn’t. Why are we having this conversation? I could be seeing a paying patient right now”, the doctor said.

“You billed me for removing my ovaries, which I don’t have, and never did. Someone there made a mistake and no one wants to do anything about it.”

“Oh, now I get it. This is a malpractice threat. Go right ahead. I have insurance. May as well use it”.

“It’s not malpractice! It’s stupidity. I’m a guy and don’t have ovaries!”.

“Not now you don’t. How do I know you didn’t have a sex change since I saw you. They can do wonders today”.

“But-”

“Tell you what. Send a little in each month until it’s paid. That way I, well the redhead really, won’t have to turn you over to collection. Maybe they’ll believe this story you’re handing me about me removing ovaries from you. I don’t care what they do as long as I get my money.”

“I’m a guy!”

“Now. Now you’re a guy. Maybe not then. You know, if I believed everything my patients tell me they wouldn’t need me in the first place. You probably came in bitching about pain in your side and I took the ovaries out to shut you up. Like the sugar pills I give Mrs. Tallman for her arthritis, which she doesn’t have.”

“How could you remove ovaries from me when I didn’t have them to begin with because guys don’t have them and I was a guy when I came to you and have always been a guy since the day I was born.”

“I can recommend another type of doctor to you that I think could help you. I can’t. I can’t, and wouldn’t if I could, reverse a sex change operation. Maybe you need to see someone to make an adjustment in your attitude, which really sucks.”

“Doctor, I...okay, give me a name”.

“Well, I don’t usually do this but since you ask. Freak”.