It's been said that the South is always a little behind the times. Some say the people here are slow, some say they're stupid. They say, "we don' like ta rus' inna thin's".

They sure don't. Listen to a radio station here and you get one of two things, Country and Disco. That's right, Disco. The South has discovered Disco. They hand-jive with the best of them. The best of them are either old or dead but that's not the point.

It used to be old time Rock N Roll, disguised as "new" Country. The only difference was that they still wore cowboy hats and couldn't quite get rid of the twang. It was, in the words of Chuck Berry, "criminal". Ozzy Osburne wanted to know, " where they got that drug. I want some of it. I'd bite the head off anything for a gram of that stuff".

Yes, if you want to know, they wear white on white. White hat too. They add some spangles and some stitching though. It's sort of customized disco. No one here can understand why the tourists are snickering. Yankees must be stupid.

"Them turists mus' be retards. They be laughin' to theyselves alla time."

They tried hiphop first but you can't whine and cry with that stuff. The violence of hiphop didn't faze them. Heck, just another Saturday night at the club to them. No, they just didn't like the beat.

"Shoot, I spill mah beer everytime I trys thet".

They love John Travolta because he not only made a disco movie but played a Texan once. "Golly gee, that Travlota guy have more talent 'n any three ah them uther acturs".

The next fad: Seatbelts.