Defense attorney Marvin Clay knew he was going to have a hard time with his case. For one thing, his client refuse to get a haircut, wear a suit, and look good to the jury. His client had a ponytail, earrings, wore his jail clothes, and rolled the sleeves up, showing his tattoos. The tattoos were ugly too.

The DA presented his first witness, the County Coroner. The DA led the Coroner through his testimony although this Coroner had testified at many trials and knew his way around.

Now it was Clay's turn.

"Now, then, sir. The victim was found headless. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"You have testified that the victim died due to severe trauma. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"How do you know that? Maybe the victim had a brain clot."

"Objection your Honor. The defense is asking a suppositonal question", the DA cried out.

"Well", the Judge replied. "maybe he is and maybe he isn't. What's a suppositional question?"

"Since there's no head, how would this witness have any knowledge of that."

"Your honor", Clay said, "if the victim had a brain clot the, ipso facto, no crime."

"Ipso facto? You trying to make fun of me?", the Judge roared. Then he said, "Oh, answer the question, whatever it was."

"Due to certain characteristics, I can safely say the victim was strangled. No, you can't strangle yourself."

"Of course not. I'm not stupid. Perhaps these so-called characteristics came from the beheading. That's a crime too, dismembering a corpse, but it's one to five not lethal injection", Clay retorted.

"No. I know the difference. It's like the difference between carving a turkey with a sharp knife and doing it with a dull knife."

"Turkey? You're comparing the victim, a sweet old man, to a turkey. Where's your compassion? Where's your humanity?"

"No, I'm just saying-"

"We heard what you said", the Judge interrupted.

"Your Honor, I ask that the coroner's testimony be stricken, the cold-hearted idiot."

"It's your witness. Mr. DA!!", the Judge screamed.

"I don't care. He's a insensitive goofball."

Well, the Judge declared a mistrial. He made a note not to sit on the retrial.

The DA made a note to give the trial to that snooty broad he just had to hire.

Clay didn't make any notes.