Morgan Quitno Press, an independent research company, has listed the ten most dangerous states They are, in no particular order: Nevada, New Mexico, Arizona, Maryland, Tennessee, South Carolina, Alaska, Florida, California and Georgia. That's the list and an odd one it is. Just take a good look at it. It's crazy.

Okay, Nevada makes sense. With all the gambling, you know there's a lot of drugs and that means a lot of muggings. Plus, there’s all that radioactivity and UFO’s to contend with. The people there don’t even look right much less act right.

Maryland? Be real. There's nothing but sissies living in Maryland. It can't be the fourth most dangerous state. That's not...oh, wait! Washington, D.C. is right there. The politicians have stolen everything worth stealing and the rest don't have anything you'd want to steal. They have to travel to steal. Since Virginia is across the Potomac and Maryland isn't, sure, it's easier to rob and kill in Maryland. Okay, it's starting to make sense now. Marylander's aren't dangerous, being sissies and all. It's the visitors, the tourist robbers. Yea, that's got to be it.

Tennessee? Oh, yea, home Jack Daniels. The Volunteer state. They want to be dangerous. Not smart, just dangerous. Drunk and dangerous. Of course, the danger is only to Jack Daniels. The local yokel hijack the Jack Daniels trucks and drive them over cliffs. Sometimes the thieves forget to jump out and that's a big danger to them. It's done to cut down on the competition with local brew.

Alaska? Two words- polar bear.

Florida is a real case. There's so many ol- er, senior citizens there that it has to be dangerous. Imagine a bunch of ninety year-old's driving. Doesn't that just scare the crap out of you? Half of them are half-blind to boot.

California is so big and goofy it's on the every top ten list.

New Mexico and Arizona? Yea, that seems reasonable. They were the last two continental territories admitted to the Union. It wasn't until 1912 they got in. Congress never wanted them in, that's for sure,

"We don't want Wyatt Earp as a senator. Doc Holliday either, even if he is dead", one senator said on the floor of the Senate.

Then Teddy Roosevelt ran as a third party candidate and the Dems got control of both Houses of Congress and the White House. Before they could take office the Republicans, in a snit-fit, let New Mexico and Arizona in. The Dems, once they took office, tried to kick them out. The problem there was that we fought a Civil War to prove that once in, always in. Then they came up with the idea to sell New Mexico and Arizona back to Mexico. The then President of Mexico, Salvidore de Luna y Taco, said the United States would have to pay him to take them back. Him, personally. The US struck a deal but The Presidente got struck by a bullet and all bets were off.

South Carolina is a joke. The dangerousness there is from rednecks and jivies. The rednecks are too stupid to realize that their fellow rednecks are just as poor and lazy as they are.

"Ah'll be ah takin' ya'lls wallaht", the redneck says as he sticks his pistol in the face of this victim.

His victim hands the wallet over and watches as the robber realizes it's empty.

"Et be emtah"' the robber announces as if the victim might not be aware of that.

"Curse et's emtah. Whar would Ah be gettin' anah monah? Ah sure don' be ah wahkin."

The jivies aren't much smarter,

"Hey, bro, this be a joke?", the robber yells as he finds out the wallet is empty.

"No, bro, I's jus' luk yo".

A jivie might get 10 dollars on a good night. He might make it back to his crib with it on a great night.

Georgia is Georgia.