Four-speed Harley had a big reputation for driving. Most folks were afraid to be in a car if he was driving. He was good at avoiding accidents and only had his license suspended that one time. He said he always knew what the odds were when he did something. Odds meant maybe yes and maybe no. No one wanted to be there when the no happened.

The worst crazy was Blackie Furman. Even Four-speed wouldn’t ride with Blackie. Blackie didn’t have a license. It hadn’t been pulled from him, he just never got one in the first place. Blackie’s big trick was to hit speed bumps as fast as he could. His car would bounce all over the place. People not only wouldn’t ride with him but were nervous driving if they knew he was out in his car. Never knew when he might sneak up on you. He also liked to yank it around at stop lights. He said he only did that if, “there was a babe in the car behind me.”

He also used to say, “The Lord will always take care of me”.

“We deliver the soul of Clarence Furman into the care of the Lord”, the preacher intoned.

Clarence? Everyone started laughing including the preacher but not Blackie’s mom. She thought the laughter took away from the funeral. Her glare pretty much stopped all the laughing. There were just a couple of giggles after that.

This left Four-speed Harley as King of the Crazies. He reveled in this. His only concern was 19-year old Bobby “Look Ma No Hands” Baker. Bobby’s main trick was rolling up those curved barriers. They were designed to keep you on your own side of the road in an accident. That way only the people on your side were in danger.

Bobby would hit the barrier at a certain angle and speed and roll along on two wheels. He wasn’t the only one to do this but he was the best. He liked to tell Four-speed Harley it would be great, “when you cash it in.”

Bobby was smiling when he said it but it was the exact same smile the undertaker gives you when he tells you that he will make the dearly departed look at rest. He said that but they always looked dead. Blackie certainly looked dead with stitches showing where the undertaker had sown his head back on.

Four-speed shocked everyone when he bought a minivan. Four-speed Harley in a minivan? Huh? Four-speed explained it this way:

“It’s time to take my driving to a new level”.