The High Cost Of Funerals

“I was reading an article about funerals the other day. The value of land is drivin’ funeral costs way up”, Sam was telling his friend Snake.

“Yea? So? You’re gonna to be dead so it don’t matter”, Snake replied.

“Yea, it matters. My insurance was to help Janie get by if I die. The more she pays out on the funeral the less she has left”, Sam went on.

“Then get cremated”, Snake told him.

“Uck! Man, I don’t want burned up”, Sam said in disgust.

“Sam, you’re gonna to be dead. It don’t matter”.

“How do we know that? How do we know we will really be dead? Mistakes happen you know”.

Now Snake was disgusted.

“Sam, they drain your blood out and fill you up with embalming fluid. You’re gonna to be dead. If you get killed, they do an autopsy. They take your brain out, for God’s sake! You will be dead, trust me”, Snake told Sam.

“Yea, I guess that’s true enough. Still, the money is a waste. It’s bad enough now. What about ten years from now? I don’t know if I can afford to wait ten or twenty or thirty years to die”, Sam concluded.

“Well, you could pop yourself tonight. Solves the problem”, Snake joked.

“I wouldn’t have the nerve to do that. Why don’t you kill me? Then I’d have that autopsy and be sure I’m really dead”, Sam told Snake.

“Kill you? Sure, then I’d be caught and sentenced to death. How’s that for a reason?”, Snake said.

“Yea, but your funeral wouldn’t cost you nothing. See my point?”.