Bubblehead’s biggest problem was trying getting people to quit calling him Bobblehead. It was a sore point with him.

“My head doesn’t wobble. I don’t have a spring in place of a neck. I can’t even fit in the back window of a car. I’m a Bubblehead.”

Being a Bubblehead wasn’t easy. For one thing, he had to constantly, and consistently, do the Bubblehead things. He couldn’t make real sense in anything he did. He had to protect his reputation at all times. Buying a car had to be an event like no one else had. The price he paid had to be known to be too much. That’s what Bubbleheads do.

“You paid too much for that car”, someone would tell him.

“I wanted it and that the price being asked”.

“You could have offered less”, was the reply.

“Huh? You can do that? I was told the sticker price was it.”

Bubbleheads also have a dog that bites. Bites anyone and everyone , including the Bubblehead.

“Oh, it’s just a stage he’s going through”, Bubblehead would tell his friends.

“The dog is nine years old !”.

“Well, he’s stupid.”

Bubbleheads read junk mail. If it addressed to them they read it. Be pretty ignorant to just toss it away unopened like most folks. Might be something interesting in it. Never was but that didn’t mean never will. They borrow money they can’t pay back to buy things they can’t use.

The thing that saves Bubbleheads is that they marry non-Bubbleheads, usually. If not, they’re goners for sure. Otherwise, the mate provides some control and some ability to survive. This lasts until insanity sets in.

“If I’d known she was crazy, I wouldn’t have married her”.

“Marrying her is what made her crazy”.

“Nah”.

Bubbleheads cook outdoors even if it rains. You see them running back and forth from the house to the grill. Eventually they have some cooked, soggy steaks ready to eat. The buns fall apart as you pick one up if it’s a hamburger cookout. Bubbleheads think rain is an advantage.

“Well, you don’t see any flies do you?”

“I can’t see the grill through the rain.”

Bubbleheads think they save money by putting a brick in the toilet tank. Lots of people have that one figured out. So, if one brick saves a little money, five bricks saves a lot. It does since you can’t flush the toilet anymore and have to call a plumber out. Bubbleheads keep a plumber on retainer.

Bubbleheads also believe they have won a million dollars in the mail contest. They are just waiting for the check to arrive, that’s all.