Bubba Wakes Up

Bubba woke up New year’s Day. That was a surprise to him. He normally didn’t wake up until sometime on the 2^nd. Normally, Bubba could handle his booze. On New Year’s Eve, he couldn’t. He had woke up in places he didn’t remember going to. He had woke up in places he didn’t know why he would go to. He once woke up in the county dump. He figured one of the guys did that as a joke but he wasn’t too sure he wasn’t out treasure hunting.

His buddy, Earl, was always worse off than him. Earl couldn’t handle his beer period. As soon as Earl had his second beer, Bubba took Earl’s keys off him.

“Friens dun ‘low frens ta drive drunk”, Bubba had told him.

“Bubba, you is more drunker then Ah’ll evah git”, Earl responded.

“Yea, en tonight Ah’ll pass out back a the place an’ neithah a us be doin’ any drivin”, Bubba told him.

“Yea, as usal. Ya know whet we needs? We needs a buddy whet don’ drink. Then we’s not be sleepin’ en fields and the like”, Earl said.

“Earl, iffen we knowed anybody whet didn’ drink we wouldn’ know ‘em, ya know whet Ah mean?”, Bubba said.

“Yea, Ah gits thet”, Earl admitted.

Bubba went to check on Earl. Earl was laying on the floor of his bedroom in a pond of puke. Bubba almost tossed up when the smell hit him. He looked at Earl closely to see if he was breathing. He seemed to be. Bubba tapped earl with his foot. Earl didn’t move. Bubba called out his name. Earl didn’t stir. Bubba yelled as loud as he could. No response. Bubba stared at Earl for a while.

Bubba was laughing as he pulled out of the county dump.

“Ah suspects et were Earl dun thet to me thet time. See iffen he thinks et be so funny”, Bubba thought..