"Et Ain't Fair, Bubba"

“Ain’t fair, et jus’ ain’t fair, Ah says”, Earl repeated. Bubba was getting angry, angry enough to punch Earl and shut hin up. Bubba often felt that way around Earl.

“Fair ain’t gots nuthin’ ta do with et. Fair ain’t nevah has and ain’t nevah goin’ ta. You’d know this iffen ya wasn’t so danged dumb”, Bubba told Earl.

“Wahl, et jus’ don’ seem raht thet Billy Gates has all thet money and I ain’t got squat”, Earl went on.

“Wahl Earl,thet thear Gates fella gots somepin’ ya ain’t gots. He gots a brain thet works”.

“Wahl, them danged computers ain’t evrythin. Et ain’t the onlah way to makes money. We could win the lottery an’ -”

“An’ still not have the monah thet Gates boy gots. Besides, we ain’t nevah goin’ to win thet there lottery anyway. Ya knows thet”, Bubba interrupted.

“Wah not? We gots the exact same chance as anyone else do unless it be rigged and Ah have some suspicions on thet”, Earl said.

“We ain’t gots the same chances as anyone else do at all, you danged ijit. We don’ nevah buys a ticket. How’s we a gonna win iffen we don’ play? ‘plain thet to me, huh?”, Bubba replied.

“Wahl, Ah don’ play ‘cause Ah don’wanna waste mah money iffen Ah don’ win”, Earl told Bubba.

“Earl, you gotta be the dumbest guy Ah know. No two ways ‘bout thet. Iffen ya don’ play, ya can’t win. It’s as simple as thet. Wah, it’s as simple as you”, Bubba said.

“Ya know sumpin”, Bubba? Ah don’ recall you bein’ the smartest kid in tha class. In fack, Ah recalls thet yo was one a the dumbest kids goin’”

“That true enuff thar, Earl, true enuff. ‘cepten, Ah was always smarter’n ya was. Still am, come to thinkin’ on it. Ah smart enuff ta know ya can’t win thet thar lottery iffen ya don’ play et. Ah thet smart”, Bubba defended himself.

“Wahl, guess Ah can’t argue thet one with ya. Ah didn’ do too good in school, fur sure. Ah’m a guessin’ thars a reason thet Gates fella gots all thet money and we ain’t gots none”, Earl agreed.

“Yea, an it ain’t fair”, Bubba told him.