Deal Or No Deal?

"Ya know, Bubba, effen we was up North, this'd be fun cause it'd be snow instead a mud", Earl told his buddy Bubba.

"Wahl, effen it be wintah an nut summah then thet'd be so. Iffen it were summah, why, then it'd still be mud, Ah reckon", was Bubba's reply.

"Wahl, cain't argue with thet el thet much. Ah reckons ya be raht bout thet. But, it be winter theah an heah so's Ah got et raght".

"Fer once. Thing of et is, Earl, we's still stuck en this heah mud".

"Ah reckon thet so. Guess Ah oughta call Daryl an git em ta come on out heah and yank mah truck free".

Daryl got there about a half hour later. He called Earl on the CB and let him know he was there.

"Wahl, Lordy, Daryl, et took ya long enuff ta git heah. Ah'll come own back 'n drag the chain un up an hook er up ta mah truck so's ya kin hawl me out", Earl said to him.

"Wahl, make sure ya brings fiftah dahlars too".

"Huh?", Earl said.

"Earl, Ah ain't gonna pull thet old truck a yers out fer free. An, Ah ain't gonna trust ya fer the money neither, no how. Ya ain't paid me fer the las time as Ah recall", Daryl explained.

"Daryl, Ah ain't got no fiftah dahlars right on me. Ah'll bring et on ovah as soon as Ah git home. Ah promise".

"Wahl, Earl, Ah promise ta pull this ole heap out as soon as ya gits the fiftah ta me. Ya go raht on home an git et, effen ya even has et, an ya brings et un back un out heah and Ah'll yank thet ole piece a junk outta the mud. How's thet be?"

Bubba started laughing at this point. He knew Earl didn't have fifty dollars to his name and no one to borrow it from. Bubba figured Earl would have his truck parked in this field until the mud dried a little and he could dig it out.

"Daryl, thet thar be the must stupidast idee Ah eveah heerd. Ya can’ go ‘n let me stuck heah en this har mud. We’ins friends", Earl told Daryl.

"Earl, ya’ll callin’ me stupid ain’t much too smaht, ya know? This heah ain't 'bout friens, this heah be 'bout biznas. Speakin’ of thet, ya’ll ain’t got no bizness en thet thar field no how", Daryl said.

"Wahl, the plain fack a the mattah es, Ah ain't got no fiftah dahlars on mah", Earl told him.

"Wahl than", Daryl said, "Ah reckon Ah could make ya'll some kindah deal", Daryl replied.

Uh, oh, Bubba thought. Here it comes.

"Yea? Whet kinda deal?", Earl asked.

"Lookee heah, Earl. Ya owes me fiftah dollahs now. Effen Ah was ta pull yer surry ole truck outta thar, why, you'd owe me anathuh fiftah, raht? Thet make a evan hunnerd dollahs. Whet Ah'm a willin' ta do is ta tow ya outta thet thar mud field an ya gives me ya truck. With the fiftah ya alradah owes mah an' the fiftah fer towin ya out now, et be the zak same as gettin' a hunnard dollahs fer thet truck. Earl, thet be way mur then et be wath. So, deal ahr no deal?", Daryl told him.

Earl looked over at Bubba for some advice but Bubba wasn't having any part of this one. Besides, he couldn't have spoken without bursting into laughter.

"Hey, Earl, ya still thar? Deal ahr no deal?"

"Whet ya means is Ah still heah? Whar en darnation does yah think Ah’d be?"

"Okay, deal ahr no deal?"

"Ya ain’t be joshin’ me none would ya, Daryl? Et be the same es a hunnah dollahs?"

"Shar. Deal ahr no deal?"

"Ah reckon Ah take thet deal"

Now Daryl started laughing.