The Great Liberal Dream had finally come true. Drugs were legalized, except for the ones that weren’t. Drugs like penicillin. Then you still needed a prescription. They thought you had to draw the line somewhere. You could move the line but not erase it. Big Daddy knew best.

If people wanted to get high on drugs that was their right. If people wanted to cure a disease, or control one, they needed the advice and consent of a qualified doctor. Getting high was a personal choice. Life, according to them, was all about personal choice as long as they had the final word and got taxes from it.

They now had a cash cow for their programs. In the old days, the drug dealers weren’t too honest at reporting their income or, worse, paying income taxes.

“How is it that you drive a Cadillac, live in a penthouse and wear designer clothes with very little income?”, the IRS agent asked Little Latin Lupe.

“Hey, man! Ya gotta look for sales, ya know?”, Triple L, his street name, answered.

The liberals put a halt to that. Nothing is non-taxable. That would be un-American. The liberals could now afford an expensive Department of Drug Rehabilitation.

“Honey, I’m going to stop at the drug store on the way home. You want some coke?”, she asked her husband.

“Nah, my nose finally fell off.”

“How about something injectable?”, she sweetly asked.

“Nah, I feel like a pincushion now”.

“Is there anything I can get you?”, she asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe something I can smoke. I still have most of my right lung left”.

“Okay. See you later, hon”, she brightly told him.

Timmy was sitting watching tv and looking at the last this is your brain, this is your brain on drugs commercial. It’s not that they were a bad idea. It’s that they were understood only by the people who didn’t use drugs to begin with. Just say no was a cute idea that Nancy Reagan had. To someone like Timmy, it had an entirely different meaning.

“Wow, man!”, Timmy told his dreamed up friend. “Wow! I never knew eggs did that. I got to get me some a them. Hope my dealer got some”.