Alan was cruising along I-77 South through West Va. on his way south. The kids were all busy with their Gameboys and iPods and it was quiet and peaceful. His wife, Marianne, was enjoying the beautiful mountains and remarking about how West Va. was given a bad rap. Alan was silently agreeing with her when he noticed the engine temp go into the red.

After pulling over to the side, Alan opened his hood to see a steady stream of coolant spraying out. He loosened the radiator cap to stop that. He could see that most of the coolant was gone. He’d have to get a tow. This was going to cost them a half day of travel time.

As he’s thinking this a West Va. State Police car pulls up behind Alan’s car. The trooper got out and came up to Alan.

“Wahl. Looks like ya’ll got a problem heah. Lemme take a gander at ‘er”, he told Alan.

“Wahl, shoot, it yah radiator hose done got a hole in ‘er. Heck, jus’ duc taper and it’ll get ya to the nex’ town. Cheaper’n gettin’ a tow. Them tow fellas charge near on to twenny dollahs”, he continued.

“Uh, duck taper. What’s that?”, Alan asked.

“Huh? Duc tape. Ya wraps it ‘round the hose. It ain’t no longtime cure but it sure git ya to the nex’ town. It real sure better’n a tow. Oh, ya’l ain’t got no duc tape. Man, I never goes nowhere without some. Hold on heah and Ah’ll fix ya right up”.

The trooper did just that. He told Alan that the next town was at the next exit. Told him to go to Gus’ Gas. Couldn’t miss it since it was the only gas station in town. Told Alan it ,“really weren’t much a a town anyhow. But Gus he were a good un”.

Alan got off at the next exit. He looked to the left and didn’t see anything so what was to the right must be the town. It really wasn’t much of a town. As he drove along he spotted Gus’ Gas very quickly. On the other side was Sally’s Eats. He told Marianne to get the kids hamburgers and fries while he got the new hose put on.

Gus himself came out to check the hose.

“Yep, that sure enough need replacin’. Thet a good job of tapin’ though. Who helped ya? Were it a little fat boy with glasses? Yea? That be Hank Catchem’s boy, Clem. Now, Clem, he ain’t all thet smart, ya know? He do know his duc tapin’. Why’nt ya go on ovah and eat with your family. It ain’t rally Sally anymore. She been dead goin’ on 40 year. But, her granddaughter don’ want to lose the good repatashun, ya know?”

Alan went over to Sally’s and joined his family. The kids were wolfing down the food like they were starved. Sally was sitting there staring at her hamburger. Alan asked what was wrong? Wasn’t she hungry?

“Alan, look at the menu”, she relied.

Alan opened the menu. He saw hamburgers, hotdogs, fresh roadkill and ripe roadkill. Oh. Well, better stick to the hamburger. Can’t hide what’s in that. The hotdog could have anything in it, including a dog.

The meal came and Alan took a bite. Hmm, pretty good. The coffee was very good. He had asked the waitress if they had any entrees.

“Nah, we figure we put the plates right heah on the table so no reason ta use no tray. Wahl, I uses one, to bring it aht”.

Gus came in and walked over to Alan’s table.

“Wahl, mister, Ah got ‘er done. Didn’ have nuthin’ thet fit right so Ah borried one off a Billy Harpers truck. Next time Ah orders parts Ah get ‘im a new un. Heck, won’ even charge ‘em but a bit”.

“You took a hose off someone else’s truck and put it on my car?”

“Yep, thet whut Ah said. Don’ ya be frettin’ none. Sure, Billy gonna be madder’n bee when a bar come snoopin’ ‘roun’ the nest but, heck, you be gone and caint hardly do nothin’ ‘bout it nohow.”

As Alan and his family drove out of town to get back on I-77 South they passed a truck with the hood open and steam coming out of it. They noticed a man standing there scratching his head. Looked a little puzzled.