The earliest boomers are now approaching retirement age and it has them concerned. All any boomer is concerned about is what affects them. Boomers are egocentric to the max. It’s not the money they worry about, it’s the age. The money part is okay. If they were lucky enough to hit it right and retire at 30, that’s good.

“Yea, I was smart. I have enough money at thirty to live the rest of my life without working a single day. Oh, sorry, Bill, I forgot. You’re a clerk at one of my stores. Sorry, man”. He’s not sorry though. He just let Bill, the captain of the football team, know that he was a loser.

No, it’s the age. They are in their mid to late fifties and they don’t like it. They can’t handle it. They always thought that fifty was old. Now, they’re old! How did this happen? When they were getting high it wasn’t ever going to happen! Of course, they somehow managed not to OD, that’s why.

For the women, it’s much, much worse. By the use of Botox, facelifts, tummy tucks, breast enhancements, butt lifts, tummy tucks and dye they’ve managed to look 38 for the last twenty years. They can do it for fifteen more years too. Then one morning they’ll look in the mirror and the mirror is going to tell them-

“Oh my God! Where do my chins stop and my breasts start. My breasts cover my tummy and it covers my knees. My butt had drooped to the floor. I’m standing and sitting at the same time. Oh my God!”

For guys, it’s not quite that bad. Guys don’t care as much about their looks. Now that they have Viagra, they aren’t worried at all, except for that hideous thing they sleep with. Well, maybe two doses of Viagra and turn all the lights out. They are worried about trying to maintain their lifestyles on less money. Boomers didn’t think about retirement until they were fifty. Even then it was just a passing thought. They don’t have enough put away and aren’t worrying about it.

“Look, George, I know I have to retire someday but that’s a long time away. I’ll worry about it later. Quit bugging me”, they say to their investment counselor, who wants to increase their contributions from fifty dollars a month to a lot more.

The boomer never realized or believed that life was going to catch up to them the way it caught up to every generation in history. The boomers were special, very special. Almost immortal.

“Hey! We were born under a lucky star, man. How could we have known that star would be sucked up by a black hole”.