Black Widow

As soon as someone sees a spider there’s a lot of screaming, screeching, hollering, hollering and running away. A woman will swat the spider with whatever’s handy, wipe the mess up and toss it in the garbage. It’s a human obsession not shared by spiders. Spiders don’t bother humans unless the human bothers them. After all, they can only eat so much human before it rots.

The Black Widow will lay about a thousand eggs, most of them eaten by other spiders. There’s no real solidarity or scruples among spiders. It’s every spider for itself. Seems a little bit cannibalistic but there you have it. Black Widows also eat their own young. The young Black Widow learns very early not to sass mommy. The young Black widow never sasses mommy twice. That’s a fact.

The Black Widow spins a very strong web. Then she hides in the corner waiting for an insect to get stuck. Then she covers it with some kind of goop and lets it marinate for a while before eating it. One of the fun things in life is too filch the round piece of goop and annoy the spider. The advice here is to be quick and then stay well clear of the area for a long time. The Black Widow has a good memory and no sense of forgiveness.

The Black Widow has a very sinister reputation. Sure, if you disturb one by, say, looking at it, the Black Widow gets offended and bites. It is venomous and, in some cases, can be deadly. In fact, there’s one case where it’s always deadly. Sex. As soon as the male is done, and before he can light up that cigarette, the Widow kills and eats him. That something very few human females do. It also shows that a male Black Widow is as smart as dirt. That’s something human females agree on with Black Widows.

The Black Widow has an hourglass figure women would kill for. That may be the attraction that the male has for the female. It’s the real fatal attraction if there ever was one. It’s a true one-night stand for the male. He doesn’t even get a chance to go to the bar and brag. He just becomes so much natural fertilizer.

You hire an exterminator to get rid of the pests, especially the savage Black Widow. You pay anywhere from 75-300 dollars for this guy to spray what he says is a long-lasting pest control. After a couple of days you look around and see a lot of dead insects. You might see a couple of dead birds too. They weren’t bothering you but they’re still dead. Is that a dead squirrel? Yes. Well, too bad.

What you don’t see is a dead Black Widow. Isn’t that a nice feeling?