King Henry the Eighth was sitting on his royal seat singing, "I'm 'enery the Eighth I am, 'enery the Eighth I am, I got married to the widow next door.." No, that Herman's Hermits. The real Henry the Eighth made widows.

"Henry, quit tossing your cloak on the floor. I'm your Queen, not your maid."

Swoosh. Her head flew right out the window. Henry was very obnoxious. One of the Lady's of the Realm begged her father not to marry her to Henry. "Please, father, I don't want to die!"

"Quiet! Marrying you to the King will be good for my career."

Well, no. After cutting her head off he cut the old man's head off too. Scratch one career. The only real career in Not So Merry Old England was Crown Executioner. There was always someone's head needed removed.

The Pope got tired of it and sent a Special Envoy, Cardinal Rossini, to put a stop to the head slicings. Henry listened to His Eminence for a couple of minutes. Then, not speaking Italian, and the Cardinal not speaking English, decided the guy was making fun of him. Off with his head.

This pissed the Pope off. He was going to excommunicate Henry but no one would go there to tell him. The Pope certainly wasn't.

When Henry got bored slicing people's heads off he started going after the Royal Chickens. When they got finished running around like a chicken with it's head cut off he went after the Chickens of the Realm.

"Give me that chicken, peasant", Henry would yell.

"This isn't a chicken, Sire. Also, I'm no peasant. I'm a serf."

"Now, look, I know a chicken when I see one. That's a chicken."

"No, begging the King's pardon, this is a duck."

"Hmm, funny looking duck. Looks just like a chicken."

"Well, I did some cross breeding.."

"Off with the peasant, er, serf's head."

Henry met his fate while having his beard trimmed. In addition to being a tyrant, henry thought he was funny. He was telling his barber a joke. The barber, not really amused, figured he better laugh. He really laughed. He laughed so hard he cut Henry's head off.

The Pope named him a saint, Saint Whatshisname.