With Memorial Day done with, the beach bunnies are out in full force and in all their glory. Almost all of it. Thanks to certain medical advances, women are getting bigger. Thanks to designers, bikini’s are getting smaller. There’s more to hide and less to hide it with.

Charlie is a lifelong member of the bunny watch. You see him at the beach staring straight ahead. You’d think he was in a trance or, perhaps, demented. He stares that way because he knows he doesn’t have to move his head or his eyes to see a beach bunny. It just like watching a parade.

Charlie learned this trick from an old 60’s beach bum.

“What happens is they notice you aren’t moving. Unless they think you’re dead they want to be sure you notice them. That’s why they’re at the beach in the first place. So, if you don’t move they will walk back past you until you do. Saves on neck cramps too”, the old-timer told him.

Charlie also watches the waves. A high wave and a bikini top don’t go together well. The wave will always win and, in a way, so does Charlie. Charlie would like to go into the ocean near a babe so he’d be close up when a bikini-stripping wave hit. But, that would mean taking a chance on missing a string bikini parade.

His friend, Bobby, told him that sometimes you have to take a chance in life.

“Yea. Last time I did that the cops kicked me off the beach. No, I’ll stay put right here. No sense in getting greedy”, Charlie told him.

Some girls are aggressively opposed to this whole watching thing. They say it’s demeaning and disrespectful. They say this wearing three small Band-Aids. They get right in Charlie’s face about it. Charlie hates that since it cuts off his view. The only way he can get rid of one of these is to stare at one or two of the Band-Aids. He thinks of it as a no lose situation.

Charlie doesn’t have a regular girlfriend. They always want to go to the beach and they always expect Charlie to look at no one but them. Charlie never lives up to their expectations. He tried wearing wrap-around sunglasses but the slobbering did him in.

You can find Charlie at any beach. Just look for the guy sitting in the puddle of spit.