Dude Boy sauntered down the alley where he lived. He passed the passed out winos and the freaked out freaks without batting an eye. The dead cats didn’t bother him nor did the live rats. This was home.

“Hey, Dude Boy, wonderin where-. You took a bath!”, Ring Finger said to him in shock.

“Huh? Nah, I dinna at all”, responded Dude Boy.

“Like the dickens you dinna. I know what soap smell like. It smell zackly the way you does right now”, Ring Finger said.

“Man, you musta been over to the shelter”, Troutbait joined in.

“Nah, I ain’t been near to there”, Dude Boy defended himself.

“Perfume! I smells perfume!”, Lady Lady cried out.

“I ain’t got no perfume on, no way, no how”, Dude Boy sputtered.

“Mus’ be one a them scented soaps they has now”, Ring Finger commented.

“Yea, mus’ be. Don’ try tellin’ us no story ‘bout fallin’ in some fountain neither. Ain’t no fountain gonna clean ya up and have ya smelling like thet”, Troutbait went on.

“Well, ya ain’t sleepin’ near to me tonight, that be for sure”, Lady Lady told him.

“Yea? Why would I wan’ to do that for? You is one ugly one. I wonna sleep with you no way, no how”, Dude Boy told her.

“Ya got that right. Not with ya smellin’ like that”, she told him.

Dude Boy found himself being shunned. It wasn’t that he really liked these people. How could you like them? But, they were family to him. He finally jumped into a dumpster, chased the rats away, rolled around there for an hour or so and got out.

“Well, Dude Boy, that be more like it. Welcome home”, Ring Finger said to him as Lady Lady made eyes at him.