Bad Omen was sneaking up on the Commanche village. He was intent on stealing a horse from them. Stealing a Commanche's horse was the worst thing you could do to him. It was far worse than killing him. Stealing his horse was insulting. Killing wasn't. That was to be expected.

Bad Omen needed to steal this horse to keep from being sent to the women's work group. He needed to prove his manhood. Stealing a horse from a Commanche would be just the ticket. It might also punch his ticket but he needed this one. He needed a big score.

"Bad Omen, a warrior fights in a battle. He doesn't take notes for future reference. Soon, you may have no future", Chief Walks With Limp told him. The Chief was called Walks With Limp due to a errant arrow from Bad Omen. The chief had made the error of standing behind Bad Omen once during practice.

"Yes, boss", Bad Omen said with a big gulp. If only that arrow hadn't been curved none of this would be happening.

"Yes, soon you join the other women at chewing hides", Burned Face said. Burn Face got his name when Bad Omen tripped on the way back from the cooking pot. Bad Omen thought the Chief tripped him but what could he say?

The Commanche horses were restless. They could smell Bad Omen coming. Bad Omen had so much grease on his body that he was waterproof but stank to high heavens. The Commanches should be able to smell him except they smelled the same way. You can't fool a horse though.

"Good horsey, good boy", Bad Omen whispered.

The horse kicked Bad Omen in the shins. Bad Omen, knowing better than wake up a Commanche, grabbed his shin and cried. Commanches wake up poorly. Wake up to see a crying horse thief would just piss them off. That's the last thing Bad Omen wanted to do.

To calm the horse, Bad Omen took out a root and fed it to the horse. The horse reared up and kicked Bad Omen a good one where it really hurts. Root? This stupid thief didn't even wipe the dirt off. The horse bit down on pebble, snapped a tooth and kicked Bad Omen.

Bad Omen was getting a bad feeling about this raid. The rest of his tribe was waiting back at the river for him to get a Commanche horse. If he didn't it was hide chewing time. Bad Omen started petting the horse. The horse liked this. He started purring or whatever it is horses do.

Suddenly the Commanche village sprang to life. Warriors started yelling; women started screaming; kids started running around in circles. The sound of a horse purring or whatever it is they do was a danger signal. Commanches are rough on horses. Commanche horses have been known to run away from home. Commanches have more runaways than thefts.

The horses, hearing all the commotion from the Commanches, broke and ran. Ran right over Bad Omen. They really pounded him a good one. One of them peed on him. One of them galloped back to run over him again for good measure. Then they all took off.

Where they ran to was the river. They were thirsty. The last horse out got his foot stuck while stomping Bad Omen and was dragging him along trying to shake him off. Bad Omen wanted off but was stuck by his quiver.

The rest of Bad Omen's tribe was lolling around the riverbank. They knew this was a wild goose chase. Bad Omen would come back with some stupid story or, maybe, not come back at all. Either way he was out of the warrior's council.

Then they heard the horses. They heard them a little too late. They were really lounging and the horses caught them by surprise. The horses had a field day, stomping and kicking. The last thing Chief Walks With Limp saw was Bad Omen on the ground.

Bad Omen was known for the rest of his life as Horse Stupid. The Chief had to change his name to Chief No Walk. Burned Face was now No Face. The women of the village put on a celebration. They weren't going to be stuck with Bad Omen after all. The men were too beat up to say anything much less do anything about the celebration.

The horses? They ate all the grass and then made deposits in all the teepees. The men were too beat up to stop them and the women were too busy to clean up.