Today's lesson is for the guys. Woman can read it and call me names. This is political incorrectness in all it's glory. Today's lesson is: how to attract women.

Lesson one: be born rich. This is a surefire winner. It works everytime. You can look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and have the personality of a dead fish as long as you have money. Disposable money. None of that "worth on paper" crap.

Lesson two: look like a god. Look like Swartzenegger but sound like a human being. Ripple those muscles. Open your beer can by biting it. Inhale deeply enough to rip your shirt, if you're wearing one.

Lesson three: be a biker. Granted, the women you attract may not always be lookers. They might not always look like women but it does work. Plus, you don't have to work. How they buy anything is called, "unknown data." A big plus here is that the women don't mind if you chew tobacco. They do.

Lesson four: be a caring and sensitive guy. The women you attract are women no other guy wants but, then again, so what? You'll never get anywhere with them but you wouldn't want to.

Lesson five: make a cash offer. This won't work with just any woman but it's all in the numbers.

Now, in all fairness to the women here's what they need to do to attract men:

CLEAVAGE.