|Jokes floating around the net|
The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was slightly delayed. The daughter of the family was with them, on the theory that she would keep the visitors occupied during the wait.
The child was about six years old, snub nosed, freckled, buck-toothed and bespectacled. She maintained a deep silence and the two ladies peered doubtfully at her.
Finally, one of them muttered to the other, "Not very p-r-e-t-t-y, I fear," carefully spelling the key word.
Whereupon the child piped up, "But awfully s-m-a-r-t!"
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school,a policeman was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a police officer?"
"Yes," he answered, and continued writing the report.
"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?"
"Yes, that's right," he told her.
"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing so he took her with him.
"I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!"
"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said.
The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."
An artist asked the owner of the art gallery if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The guy was your doctor."