Some of the most tactful people on Earth are our English friends. A British office supervisor once called a secretary in to give her the bad news that she was being fired.

He started the conversation with: "Miss Symthe, I really don't know how we're going to get along without you, but starting Monday, we're going to try."
 

Two men were working at the sawmill and one guy got too close to the saw and cut his ear off. It fell in the sawdust pit so he jumped down into the pit and was hunting around trying to find it.

The second guy saw him and hollered down, "What're you doing?"

The first man said that he had cut off his ear and was looking for it. The second guy said, "I'll help you" and jumped in the pit. He was searching around on his end and found the ear.

The first guy took it and examined it closely, then said, "Keep looking. Mine had a pencil behind it."
 

Joey and his classmates had just finished a tour of the local fire hall. Before each student could leave, the fire chief quizzed him.

The fire chief asked little Joey, "What do you do if your clothes catch fire?"

Joey replied promptly, "I don't put them on."
 

A foursome teed off on the long par-3. The green on this hole lay behind a large bunker, so any shot that made the green would disappear over the top ridge of bunker and you couldn't tell where your ball landed until you arrived on the green.

After the last player hit his shot, the first golfer to hit charged off down the fairway, without waiting for the others. He disappeared over the bunker and seconds later came running back down the fairway yelling and screaming, "I got a hole-in-one! I don't believe it!"

"You've got to be kidding," said the others. "You run ahead of us down the fairway and disappear behind that bunker, and now, all of a sudden, you claim you have a hole-in-one. How stupid do you think we three are?"

"No, no. It's true. I swear it," he said crossing his heart. "Go look. I left it in the hole to prove it."