Female Golf Terms

Double Bogey- 'Casablanca' followed by 'African Queen.'

Iron What guys need to learn to do their own shirts.

Good Lie- Weight on their driver's license.

Greens- Lunch we eat when we'd rather have a cheeseburger.

Hole-In-One- Time to get new pantyhose.

Fairway- Splitting the bill when the girls go to lunch.

Shaft- You watch the kids while he gets to go golfing.

Slice- 'No thanks. Just a sliver.'

Water Hazard- Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip.

Chipping- Time to get our nails done again
 

Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all over town. That meant the customer relations head was dispatching repairmen right and left.

When one lineman called a customer to get her exact address, he was told, "I'm at Post Office Box 99."

The weary lineman replied, "Ma'am, I'll be coming to you in a truck, not an envelope."
 

On the first day of school, about mid-morning, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."

A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"