|Jokes floating around the net|
Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a
hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't
"HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens,
turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the
general direction of "yonder."
Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is
as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is
not a request for the white, granular sweet substance
that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the
All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They
might not use the term, but they know the concept
Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best
gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is
a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold
potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real
crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference
between "right near" and "a right far piece." They
also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or
Only a true Southerner, both knows and understands, the
difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po'
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with
the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a
A true Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun,
a verb, or an adverb.
Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines.
We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're
"in line," we talk to everybody!
Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will
discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
True Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon,
grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red
eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried
green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself
lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet
milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots
of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet
milk" means you don't want buttermilk.