Prestidigitalis: a cure-all..works like magic!

Ropadopamine: retards brain damage from blows to the head.

Hisalavista: say bye-bye to those allergies.

Milk of Amnesia: for the new mother to help forget birth trauma.

Non-interferon: black-market drug often slipped to unsuspecting in-laws.

Testsoteroni: a hormonal supplement eaten as pasta.

Aestheominophen: You don't feel any better, but you look fabulous.

Mazeltoff: Won't cure anything, but you may win the lottery.

Silliconia: A cream imported from Romania to increase breast size.

A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," the woman wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life"?

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"