A salesman arrived in town, but every hotel room was taken. He pleaded for a room when the hotel clerk told him:

"I do have a double room with one occupant, but the man snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms complain about it. However, he might want to split the cost,."

The tired salesman said, "I'll take it."

The next morning the salesman came and the clerk asked him "How'd you sleep? Any problem with the other guy snoring?"

"None at all" said the salesman.

The clerk was impressed, "How did you do that?"

"He was already sleeping and snoring away when I came in the room. So I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, 'Sleep tight, cutie.' He sat up all night watching me!"

How to Shower Like A Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note *must do more sit-ups.*

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off).

Shave armpits & legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.

Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.

Turn off the shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit; tweeze unwanted hairs.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown & towel on head.

If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How to Shower Like A Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror & suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no).

Get in the shower.

Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.

Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).

Make a shampoo Mohawk.

Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.

Pee in the shower.

Rinse off & get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.

Partially dry off.

Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

Leave bathroom fan and light on.

Throw wet towel on the floor