"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the worst thing I could do to him."

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is."

"Of course, I do," he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office.

At 10 a.m., the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses.

At 1 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived.

Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.

"First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (AND LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

(MEN JUST AREN'T EQUIPPED FOR THESE SORT OF CONTESTS)