A two and a half year old walked into the bathroom while her mother was putting on make-up. "I'm going to look just like you mommy!" she announced.
"Maybe, when you grow up," her mother told her.
"No mommy, tomorrow. I just put on that 'Oil of Old Lady' you always use."
You probably know of those "walking to school" stories ... I walked to school each day, 5 miles, uphill, both ways, barefoot, in the snow .....
Well, when I was a kid, I really did walk 10 miles to school every day,
sometimes in the rain or snow. Man, did I feel stupid when I found
out there was a bus.
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby-sitter."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?"
"WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.
A tourist on his way to Tuscaloosa, came to a fork in the road and stopped. There was no sign indicating which route went where. Spotting a boy by the road, he yelled out, "Hey, kid, does it matter which road I take to Tuscaloosa?"
"Not to me it don't," replied the boy.
A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and he was so proud. Anxiously, he waited to hear the verdict. The grandmother in all her life had never had such a bad cup of coffee. As she forced down the last sip, his grandmother noticed three of those little green army guys were in the bottom of the cup.
She asked, "Honey, why would three of your little army men be in the bottom of my cup?"
Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV. 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup'."