Aaron came home from school one day, all banged up, bloodied, and bruised. His father asked him what on earth had happened.

"Well, dad, it's like this," Aaron began. "I challenged Larry to a duel and you know how that goes...I gave him his choice of weapons."

"Uh huh," said the father. "That seems fair."

"I know...but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"

Patsy offered to care for the eight-year-old daughter of her next-door neighbor. She arrived in time to prepare breakfast, laying a generous helping of bacon and eggs in front of the child. "Mother always serves hot biscuits for breakfast," said the eight-year-old.

So, Patsy, very eager to oblige, hurried into the kitchen and quickly prepared a plate of hot biscuits, which she laid in front of the girl. "No, thank you," she said.

"But I thought you said your mother always has hot biscuits for breakfast!" said Patsy in surprise.

"She does," said the child. "But I don't eat them."

The teacher was asking her class about rules when eating in a restaurant.

"Don't play with your food," one second-grader cited.

"Don't be loud," said another, and so on.

"And what rule do your parents give you before you go out to eat?" the teacher inquired of one little boy.

Without batting an eye, the child replied, "Order something cheap."