“Why were you looking at that pretty young girl?”, she accuses you. She doesn't look at guys. She looks at you looking at girls. Her goal is to catch you doing that. Your goal is to do it without being caught. You won't meet your goals. Trust me. Denying it won’t work. Women know you were looking. Don’t hesitate or your done for. Oh, hell, you're done for either way.

Speed

“Just take those old records off the shelf”, he heard as he rolled along. Man, he thought, how can you listen to Bob Seger at 70 mph. He wasn't interested in seeing the countryside which was good because it was just a blur. At his speed the white lines became one long white line.

Whispers- What Chad Fears

He suddenly found himself covered with rats. Screeching, biting, angry rats that had a hold of him and weren't letting go. Soon, Chad was screeching and trying to tear the rats off. He was scared to death. Rats carry the plague, he thought. The Plague! That's all he needed. Actually, what he needed now was to escape. If these rats ever got him down, he was doomed.

Vampire Bats

Little Donnie got his first pair of glasses at age four. It changed his whole outlook on the world. Now, he saw that he had only one right hand instead of three or four.

Flooding

You don't actually drive the expressway unless you're in a truck. You float across it."

Attack Or Not?

Buzzard That Eats Roadkill whacked Fox That Chases Rabbits across the head with his bow. "Are you nuts? Then what? The only women that show up are the fat, ugly, hairy ones. Would you let your good-looking daughter go to one of our victory dances?"

I Love Weddings

Rick told her that,” a dead man’s suit looked natural on him.”

Whispers

Mad Chad was deaf in one ear and mostly deaf in the other. He’d hear people talking in a normal tone of voice and think they were whispering ... about him.

Whispers- What Chad Hears

"I LIKE YOU TOO BUT NOT IN THAT WAY SO KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF ME”, Chad told her. Chad didn't like anyone for any reason ever since he realized that people were always whispering when he was around. He figured they were badmouthing him. People were but not whispering about it. Chad avoided fights by pretending to like everyone.

The White Knight

Garthe got up and glared at the horse. The horse glared back. Garthe thought about his 150 pounds and the horse’s 700 pounds and thought about the apple he’d brought along as a snack. He fed the apple to the horse while rubbing his ears. Garthe had that horse purring like a newborn kitten. Garthe jumped back on the horse. The horse turned and looked at Garthe.

Winky and the Do-Gooder

Winky listened to the unbridled enthusiasm and, deciding he didn't know what unbridled meant, spat a huge wad of phlegm at the guy. The guy was too quick.

For all you amatuer writers out there
 
 
 
 
 
  Red Dragon Tea Room:
A very small collection of Oriental sketches here just because I like them.
 
 
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